About a year ago I was in a particularly dark place. I was jaded, angry with God and overwhelmed by guilt. Substance abuse had taken its toll and I was feeling desperately alone. I was struggling to bear compounded pain from failed relationships, the deaths of loved ones, gross injustices and secret sins. I was like a frog in a skillet. Small compromises lead to great disasters.
I kept coming to Horizon because I could feel God calling out to me through the worship. At that time my favorite song was `All the Poor and Powerless´. God washed over me in redemption when I prayed with the Horizon prayer team. I was released from the darkness that had been oppressing me. It was a feeling of joy and liberation as I found overwhelming forgiveness. God gave me a calm assurance that I was His beloved son and that the work of the cross was complete for me. Rising after those prayers, I was not the same.
I´m still a sinner and life is still tough, but I will always remember that moment of personal revival. It is amazing to be free from the substance crutch I was in bondage to. Even though I have many ¨Why?¨ questions, I nevermore doubt I am His. It seems God is intent on breaking me down and keeping me vulnerable and dependent whenever I try to deal with life in my own way. I am grateful for this assurance of justification because a loving father disciplines the wayward child.
For some reason God loves to work through weakness. I know and believe that He works all things for good to those who love Him and are called to His purpose. I learned so much through that heavy period of my life. I thank Him for His endless mercies, praise Him for His awesome power, love Him because He perfectly loved me first and keeps pursuing my heart.
R.K.