I encountered life in the Holy Spirit a few years ago. I saw the Lord begin to heal people as I prayed for them. At the same time, I myself had frequent migraines. They interfered with my work and family time. A part of me was discouraged that I prayed for others and saw healing, yet I did not get healing myself.
Last fall, I was at a Christian conference, and I began to get a migraine. I asked a couple people there to pray for me. My headache didn’t improve after some typical healing prayers, and so one of them started praying to break generational curses and witchcraft. When he did that, I involuntarily began to breathe very heavily. He commanded unclean spirits to leave, and as he did so, uncontrollable shrieks erupted from me. Through my ventures into healing, I had some framework for the demonic realm, but I had told the Lord that I planned to keep my distance from deliverance ministry. Yet here I was finding myself receiving that very ministry!
I have never clung so hard to Jesus in my life. In a way I had never known before, I knew he was the only one who could save me. That night began, rather than ended, a journey toward complete freedom from demonic oppression.
As I came home, I found myself disoriented. The people who had prayed for me at the conference had gone home to their respective cities, and I didn’t know where to turn. I am a problem-solver by nature. I have a good job and good community support. But as I found myself in the greatest spiritual battle of my life, none of my usual resources could help me at all. I couldn’t buy or otherwise resource my way out of my problem. Despite reading books on deliverance and attending another Christian conference, I couldn’t even figure out why I was demonized to begin with. I was exhausted and overwhelmed. I needed God’s help to discover how to move forward.
Through a series of events over the next few months, the Lord led me to the Horizon prayer ministry. Connecting with them was truly an answer to prayer. When we met, the prayer team shared several prophetic images with me. One, in particular, ended up being particularly impactful:
I see a young girl, maybe 5, running through a field of flowers with the sun shining on her. She's full of joy. She runs her hands through the tall wild flowers. She has a blue dress on. She runs to Jesus and He hugs her. She picks a flower. It has white petals and looks almost like a daisy. She holds it up as if she is giving it to you but from a distance.
He said, “You had a miscarriage?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I think that was your daughter.”
I said, “That was 5 years ago, almost to the day.”
“I said the girl I saw was 5 years old,” he pointed out.
I was unaware that I still carried hurt from the miscarriage, but as he shared that word, new healing came into my heart. I felt so seen by the Lord. The Lord knew me. The Lord knew about my miscarriage. And the Lord even cared enough about me to tell our prayer team about it. I felt the Father’s love for me in that moment, and I gained a confidence in God’s presence through this supernatural ministry.
As the prayer team prayed for me in the power of the Holy Spirit, the Lord continued to reveal different things I was carrying. There was shame over old sins, and burdens by vows I had taken. Through these prayer ministers, Jesus made the nature of my shame clear to my heart, and he convinced me that what happened was not my fault. I felt significantly lighter as we prayed through it. The Lord also revealed to the prayer team many places where I held onto unforgiveness. They led me through forgiving many (many!) people. As I gained freedom, the Lord also blessed me with new truth and vision. I traded my old plans for the Lord’s new plans for me. He gave me joy. Even as I write this, there is a smile on my face.
My journey is not complete. However, there has still been much good fruit in my life. I am less short-tempered with my family. I am growing in my identity as a daughter of God. I am increasing in authority as I learn to fight for my freedom. I am calling out more of the enemy's lies. I’ve traded my dreams for His. I’m learning to live a lifestyle of forgiveness. I am more confident of God’s love for me. And I do have fewer headaches.
I praise God for this compassionate and powerful ministry. I am not yet where I need to be, but I praise God that I am not where I once was.
K.J.